Archive for March 2016

So here are some of the things that happened to me these past few weeks.

I almost got hit by an eight wheeled trailer/truck. I didn't even saw the truck until it I drove past through it and until it horned at me. It was almost 9.30 pm and I was on my way home from KMPk. Had something to do there all day.

The traffic light was red and I stopped. Then I saw it turning green and I drove my car when I realize the green light was for cars that wanted to take a right. Not for cars that want to go forward. I was already at the middle of the road and I couldn't just stop the car. That would be crazy. So I drove forward until I heard a loud horn before I saw the truck was moving towards me. I was lucky as my car was just fast enough to avoid being hit by that truck.

Didn't know how to react after that. Merely avoided an accident, spontaneously I drove as fast as I could not knowing from whom or what I was running away from. Maybe I was afraid that the truck driver saw my plate number and if he did saw, it could lead to other events. Or it could be because I was embarrassed of the situation that I got myself into that the only logical thing to do was to ran away and don't ever look back.

It's terrifying even to think about it again. Being in an accident not only will take an effect on me but also to those who are around me like my parents, my family and friends. It's frightening. I barely avoided that truck. It I was a little bit slower, I don't think that I would be able to write about it as I am now.

Then there's this time when I accidentally slept when I was waiting for the red light. It wasn't a deep sleep. It was like, I doze off for a second or two. When I opened my eyes, it was already green (the traffic light). Thank god it only just turned green. So I wasn't making the other drivers behind me waiting.

Nothing like this ever happen to me. There are times when I felt sleepy when driving but most of the time I managed to stay awake. So when it happen, I was totally rattled. But as I remember, earlier before that when I drove towards the place I wanted to go (when I doze off, I was on my way back home), I was already feeling tired and dizzy. So, as a whole it was a dull day. I was tired all day. Sleepy too. Thank god nothing bad came out of that particular situation.

I remembered being distracted before coming into those situation. There's all sort of things in my mind at that moment. There's so much to do and there's so much changes happening in life that I wasn't ready for.

So you can say that I was lost. It's like I know what I needed to do, but I don't have the strength and enthusiasm to do all the things that needed to be done. I did made a list of tasks that need to be done and tasks keep adding up but nothing was done. Hopeless I guess.

I was always the positive and optimist person. If there's a problem I always tell others that it's just another bump on the road. Get through it and we'll be fine. There's nothing that we couldn't do if we stay positive and optimistic.

But when things like this happen to me and I started to use negative words like 'I'm lazy', 'I'll do it later', 'I wont do it', 'I can't do it' and so on, I knew then that there's something wrong with me. Those who are close to me know that I rarely use these kind of words when interacting with people. It's just not me. For me, if we use negative words, we will only give others bad impression about our self.

I noticed all these things that happen to me. I do realize the effects it made on me and on others that related to me (work and all) but I just don't care. I didn't want to do anything back then. I was weak and lifeless.

But that was back then, as of this moment I feel like I've found my 'ghost' that was lost awhile ago. I'm back on my feet again. I've started to do all those tasks that needed to be done on my checklist. Well maybe I'm not a hundred percent back yet. But there's progress and that better than nothing.

Lucky there's someone who helped me getting through these tough time. Thank you just won't be enough. How could I ever repay you? A friend like this are like stars. They're always be there even though you can't always see them. Am I right? :)

We all know that Allah won't burden us more that what we are able to face. There are times when you're strong on your own and there are times when you need others to help you be strong.

So here's to you out there, maybe you're going through some tough times in life. Problems at work, your study aren't going well, too much work to do, too much responsibility piling up on your shoulder, changes aren't going your way or whatever it is, make time for yourself. Take a rest. Get away from all those task that burden you. Spoil yourself. Go get that book that you always want. Buy that fancy ice-cream that you've always wanted to taste. Spend your weekend with those who are close to you at the movies or jump into the river. Just take care of yourself. That's what I've done after being told do by that 'friend' of mine and it worked. Believe me you'll feel better afterwards. You'll have better outcome with your work or chores later on.

I'm still under my recovery session but I'm getting eager to do the things that I need to do. I want to be myself again. That positive and optimistic person that I've trained myself to be all these years. Even though I wont be able to do some of the things I'd love to do before, it can't be something that limits my contribution to the team that I pledge to be a part of.

I'll end with this quote that I found on Tumblr;

"Make yourself a priority. At the end of the day, you're your longest commitment."

Thank you for reading. :)

That book that I've always wanted. :)

In my last update, I mentioned that last week I had the chance to meet up with my friends after a long 3 years of not seeing each other. For some, 3 years can be a short period and for some it's the opposite. With us being far away from each other, we rarely got a chance to meet up.

For these past years, Mukhris lived at Sarawak and he just graduated from Unimas. Congratulations. Very well done. Fateh on the other hand spends his time in Selangor and still studying. He's at UPM now. He's a nurse. Our holidays aren't the same. So meet ups was not likely to happen often.

So during our meet up, there's something that Fateh said that really made me think back about my self. He said;

"Tengok Noi dari dulu sampai sekarang tak berubah. Masih caring dan nampak sifat penyayang dia tu. Aku ada masalah, dia cadangkan penyelesaian."

Not that I'm proud or anything, it's just it made me ask myself, am I really like that?

He said it. It may be true. Our friends know us. Sometimes they know us better than our self. Like I knew him and what he was like and things haven't change. He still is 'clumsy' in a likable way. He still is the person that can make you laugh even if he tries to be serious.

"Hangpa gelak apa? Aku serius ni!" he always said that with his face all serious but in the end we laughed at him. It can't be helped. Always been our source of entertainment and joy. He never gets angry when we make fun of him. Although there's this one time when he gets all emotional. That was fun too. Him being emotional was just another chance for us to get to him. :3

I was remembered as a caring person. And I hope I'll continue to be remembered as one. Not only by Fateh but also by all my friends.

Past events made me a person that put friendship as something to treasure.
*not gonna tell what was those events*

We do not know what'll happen in the future. But know this, I'll always be happy to see you when I see you.

***

Actually this update was posted so that I'll remember what Fateh said about me. Kbye.

This was us years back. 2010/2011.

Now - 2016. Us during last week's meet up.

-----

To Nash, if you're reading this, cepat-cepatlah balik. Kbye.

My days as a matriculation student has given me plenty of wonderful memories. One of the best time I had during my years as a student. Please don't ask me to choose the fondest between all of those memories because I just simply can't and won't. There's too much to choose from and all of it are as precious as the others.

Recently I meet my friends/lecture mates from my Two Year Program (PDT) during matriculation session. I haven't met the two of them for a very long time - 3 years to be exact (if I'm not mistaken). Honestly I hoped that after all these years, they would actually change for the better. I'm not saying that they're bad or naughty as hell. It's just some of their old habits that I though could be improved. I mean, we were boys, now at this point of age, we need to be men. Right?

But, come to think of it, those habits that I though could be improved are the things that made them, them. Those habits are the things that made up all the precious memories that we have together all those years.

I remember there's a moment when I promise to them that every morning, I would come to their room and wake them up from their slumber. I fulfilled my promise and every morning I would bang on their room until both of them woke up and get ready for lecture. Why did I do it? It's easy. They're my friends and I want them to be good and successful students. I don't want them to be caught not going to classes and have to see them being called by the administration for their wrong doings. That's what friends are for, right?

Plus, I got to see the smear and drool on their face and make fun of them not only when I'm at their room but also in class. So, there's something for me as well though it's not much.

So I think by now you can guess what are among their old habits that made them, them. There are other habits as well, but maybe I shouldn't be writing about it here. Or should I? It would be a lot of fun sharing them and interesting as well. I can't lie about that. Maybe I will. We'll see. *cynical smile*

I also wanted write/share about the moment when I brought one of our 'beloved' and cynical lecturer to their room. It was already late Maghrib and they were still asleep (maybe they were tired of the long day at class). I tried to woke them up but they didn't even budge. Coincidentally, he (the lecturer) was there (he prayed at the hostel), so I took the pleasure to bring him to their (my friends) room. My god do they woke up. It was hilarious!

We barged into the room with some of our the boys (by some I mean about 6 to 10 of our friends). Of course they were shocked - one tried to cover himself with a blanket and the other uses a pillow. It was funny. It was fun. We all had a good laugh. We laugh even harder every time we talk about it again when we meet up. I even recorded the event on my phone and after all these years, I still manage to keep the footage save with me. We viewed the footage together on our meet up recently and we laugh so hard we almost peed our pants. I thought surely we'll be ask to leave the stall for making such noise. Thank god it didn't come to that.

Remembering those event, sure make us smile. Great memories. Good times. Nothing beats a prank on your friends. But know this, that prank that I pulled was for a good purpose. I'm not bad as you think I am.

Thank you guys for being my friend all these years. We had wonderful time together and we will continue to make a lot more in the future.

I wrote this because it was Mukhris's birthday a few days ago? Or is it yesterday? Sorry for the late wish. Stay safe and all the best on your future. Don't dwell on the past. Love come and go but friends stays forever. :3

To Fateh, please don't change. Be you. You're funny as you are. People like you. I waited half an hour for you a week a go. Next time, please don't make me wait longer because I would and it'll make me hungry. I'm on a diet.

Thank you guys. See you when I see you.

With them after our meet up recently.
As you can see, one is an 'artist' and one is a 'joker'.

Finished writing this at 2 in the morning. It's good the be writing again. :)

So this morning I bought (tapau) my breakfast from this local mamak stall near my house. It's my usual place of getting my favourite meal - kue teow goreng - because the kue teow goreng made by the cook suits my taste. And the cook already knows me. He knows if I come to the stall, I'll order the same menu - kue teow goreng, no vegetables and extra kue teow.

So at home (I tapau because I wanted to eat at home watching football) i opened my wrap of kue teow and I started getting mad and I literally cursed (cursed in my mind, it's not good to say bad things in front of a meal) seeing there's sayur in my kue teow. The most irritating thing was, the sayur was kobis and taugeh. A whole lot of them. The taugeh I understand but adding kobis into kue teow goreng? What is the cook trying to do? Is he some sort of 'genius'? I was so frustrated. I was hungry so I didn't have a choice. I'll have to put my gloves on and pretend to be a doctor as I remove all the taugeh and kobis from my kue teow.

So here's the root of the problem - the person who cook my kue teow was not the regular person. It was someone else. The tall and slim mamak who always cook my kue teow was no where around. I've got a hunch early on that this could happen but I was hungry and I was confident that the stall could still deliver if not the exact taste, at least the cook will still use the same ingredients. But was I wrong.

Halfway through the meal, i stopped eating and started crying. Okay no. That was a bit overreacting. I stopped eating. Yes. I was tired - removing those taugeh from my kue teow made me sick. I wanted to eat. Not doing a surgery by removing the taugeh from the meal before I can eat it.

And the kue teow itself was a total sorrow for taste bud. There was an absence of flavor. It was like the cook was cooking a meal for two but he only use an amount of ingredients for one. I can tell you that it maybe the worst kue teow I had ever had. Me is sad.

So, I didn't finish my kue teow. Halfway through the meal, the was a pile of taugeh and kobis at one side of my plate.

(I know there will be at least one person who will not be impressed with my determination upon removing all those sayur from my kue teow *senyum sinis*)

Yeah. That happened today. I may not be returning to the mamak stall for a while. My heart's broken. Haha!

Though I still wonder where could the tall slim mamak who usually cook my kue teow be? Has he gone home? Deported?

The mamak who usually cuts my hair was also gone. A lot of changes happened this time around. Better get use to it.

Changes happen everyday in our lives. The things that I've mention here, aren't all that has been happening in my life recently. Big things happen and changed and not all of it suits me.

This kue teow incident for instant, for the first time I didn't able to finish my kue teow and for your information, it's my favourite meal. But, changes like this can be detoured by going to other stall and try on their keu teow for a change.

You see, changes isn't all bad. We may be see it as not as comforting as we like, it may not suits our style of work (if it is related to our work) and it may never fit into our preferable. But believe me when I say that changes can open door to other opportunities in our life. If you give it a chance, those changes that happen today, can have a great benefit on you tomorrow.

One of the major changes in my life that happen recently benefit me in having less work to do (less technical work i guess) and more time to think (think tanker). On the downside, I'll have to give up my passion on the things I love to do and the things that made me join the team initially.

At first, I wasn't able to face these changes but given time and some consideration, I realize that these changes would benefit the team more and I would also be able to help others more than I could before this.

Yes. I am sad for having to stop doing the things I love (people who are close to me knows what I'm talking about) and I can't lie about that. It's natural. But I've decided to move on and it's time to move forward. *sad eyes*

This is a quote from one of my all time favourite book, 'Who Moved My Cheese?' by Dr. Spencer Johnson:

"What you are afraid of is never as bad as what you imagine. The fear you let build up in your mind is worse than the situation that actually exist."

From the quote we can understand that sometimes we overreact when dealing with changes. We tend to imagine things that are nonsense and may not be true at all. If it wasn't there at the first place, why are we so generously putting it there and ended up having a hard time dealing with our own thought, right?

This book is no longer with me. It's with 'someone else' right now.
To that 'someone else', please take good care of the book. :)

Be bold upon changes. Accept them with open arms and big hearts. Who knows what lies up front, right?

Have you been through changes in your life recently? Wanna share? Drop it in the comment section below. :)

Thanks for reading.

Picture from: http://goo.gl/lmTQWw

Look at this beautiful kue teow goreng. Yes, there's taugeh in it.
But not a whole lot that you can build a mountain of taugeh on the side of your plate.
Right? And there's no kobis. :3

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