What I Did When I Wasn't Me - I Almost Got Killed

So here are some of the things that happened to me these past few weeks.

I almost got hit by an eight wheeled trailer/truck. I didn't even saw the truck until it I drove past through it and until it horned at me. It was almost 9.30 pm and I was on my way home from KMPk. Had something to do there all day. 

The traffic light was red and I stopped. Then I saw it turning green and I drove my car when I realize the green light was for cars that wanted to take a right. Not for cars that want to go forward. I was already at the middle of the road and I couldn't just stop the car. That would be crazy. So I drove forward until I heard a loud horn before I saw the truck was moving towards me. I was lucky as my car was just fast enough to avoid being hit by that truck. 

Didn't know how to react after that. Merely avoided an accident, spontaneously I drove as fast as I could not knowing from whom or what I was running away from. Maybe I was afraid that the truck driver saw my plate number and if he did saw, it could lead to other events. Or it could be because I was embarrassed of the situation that I got myself into that the only logical thing to do was to ran away and don't ever look back. 

It's terrifying even to think about it again. Being in an accident not only will take an effect on me but also to those who are around me like my parents, my family and friends. It's frightening. I barely avoided that truck. It I was a little bit slower, I don't think that I would be able to write about it as I am now.

Then there's this time when I accidentally slept when I was waiting for the red light. It wasn't a deep sleep. It was like, I doze off for a second or two. When I opened my eyes, it was already green (the traffic light). Thank god it only just turned green. So I wasn't making the other drivers behind me waiting.

Nothing like this ever happen to me. There are times when I felt sleepy when driving but most of the time I managed to stay awake. So when it happen, I was totally rattled. But as I remember, earlier before that when I drove towards the place I wanted to go (when I doze off, I was on my way back home), I was already feeling tired and dizzy. So, as a whole it was a dull day. I was tired all day. Sleepy too. Thank god nothing bad came out of that particular situation.

I remembered being distracted before coming into those situation. There's all sort of things in my mind at that moment. There's so much to do and there's so much changes happening in life that I wasn't ready for. 

So you can say that I was lost. It's like I know what I needed to do, but I don't have the strength and enthusiasm to do all the things that needed to be done. I did made a list of tasks that need to be done and tasks keep adding up but nothing was done. Hopeless I guess. 

I was always the positive and optimist person. If there's a problem I always tell others that it's just another bump on the road. Get through it and we'll be fine. There's nothing that we couldn't do if we stay positive and optimistic.

But when things like this happen to me and I started to use negative words like 'I'm lazy', 'I'll do it later', 'I wont do it', 'I can't do it' and so on, I knew then that there's something wrong with me. Those who are close to me know that I rarely use these kind of words when interacting with people. It's just not me. For me, if we use negative words, we will only give others bad impression about our self. 

I noticed all these things that happen to me. I do realize the effects it made on me and on others that related to me (work and all) but I just don't care. I didn't want to do anything back then. I was weak and lifeless. 

But that was back then, as of this moment I feel like I've found my 'ghost' that was lost awhile ago. I'm back on my feet again. I've started to do all those tasks that needed to be done on my checklist. Well maybe I'm not a hundred percent back yet. But there's progress and that better than nothing. 

Lucky there's someone who helped me getting through these tough time. Thank you just won't be enough. How could I ever repay you? A friend like this are like stars. They're always be there even though you can't always see them. Am I right? :)

We all know that Allah won't burden us more that what we are able to face. There are times when you're strong on your own and there are times when you need others to help you be strong. 

So here's to you out there, maybe you're going through some tough times in life. Problems at work, your study aren't going well, too much work to do, too much responsibility piling up on your shoulder, changes aren't going your way or whatever it is, make time for yourself. Take a rest. Get away from all those task that burden you. Spoil yourself. Go get that book that you always want. Buy that fancy ice-cream that you've always wanted to taste. Spend your weekend with those who are close to you at the movies or jump into the river. Just take care of yourself. That's what I've done after being told do by that 'friend' of mine and it worked. Believe me you'll feel better afterwards. You'll have better outcome with your work or chores later on.

I'm still under my recovery session but I'm getting eager to do the things that I need to do. I want to be myself again. That positive and optimistic person that I've trained myself to be all these years. Even though I wont be able to do some of the things I'd love to do before, it can't be something that limits my contribution to the team that I pledge to be a part of.

I'll end with this quote that I found on Tumblr;

That book that I've always wanted. :)